Sail Away
by TowMondler
Summary: Chandler's heart is broken....okay, terrible summary, I know, I know, but give it a try
1. Disappeared without a trace

Hey kids! I bet you thought that I dropped off the face of the earth, but I haven't. I just started college and I have been so busy. But here is the next fic, the song is by David Gray and is fantastic! And this is the first part of it, and the second will be in the other chapter. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. 

  


Disclaimer: Not mine.....nope, I'm a poor college kid, I can barely afford the shoes on my feet. 

  
  


Chandler sat on the cold bench in the park and watched the people pass. It was a favorite pastime of his. People watching. What interesting things people did when they didn't think anyone was watching. He found it amusing. He would read his paper and have his morning coffee out on this very bench every morning and watch patrons of the park. 

But not this time. He had no coffee in his hand. No morning paper. Instead he held a letter tightly in his hand as he watched the people pass and he cried. Funny, there used to be a time when he wouldn't have cried in public. What would people think? Now, he just sat with the tears streaming down his face. Sure, a few people gazed at him with strange looks pasted on their faces, but this was New York. There were all kinds of weirdos in New York. Crying on the bench was not as unusual as it seemed. 

Sorry. She had said sorry in the note. "Sorry I have to leave, but I can't stay here anymore. I'm so sorry, Chandler."

She was sorry? Who was she kidding? She wasn't sorry. She couldn't wait to get out of their apartment. And she hadn't even had the balls to say it to his face. All her things were gone and lying there in an envelope with his name scrawled across it was this letter on the bed. 

She had to go. She couldn't stay there anymore. She felt as if she couldn't breathe in their marriage. She felt as if she was drowning. It was all about her! Hadn't she thought about him for a moment? Not a single moment's thought about what abandoning him would cost? 

"I'll save you," he had sobbed as he read it. "I wouldn't have let you drown." But it was too late. Gone on the next flight to Phoenix was everything in his life. Packed up and left without notice. 

He had to get out of that apartment. He had to get air. Running from the building he had inexplicably ended up here. In the middle of the bustling park on his bench. His favorite bench. The bench where he had confessed that he thought that he might be in love with her. The bench where they had come when her father died and she sat in his arms and cried. The bench where they had a picnic to celebrate his promotion, and her new job. It was ruined now. He could never come here again and not think about her. It was of many things she had destroyed.

Destroyed when she left him.

  
  
  


_Sail away with me honey_

_I put my heart in your hands_

_sail away with me honey _

_now, now, now_

_sail away with me_

_what will be will be_

_I want to hold you now_

  
  
  


He wasn't the same anymore. Joey hated her for doing that to him. Chandler wasn't the Chandler that he used to be. He never laughed anymore. And she had done this to him. She had made him this way. For what? More than anything Joey wanted to call and ask her that. Why? Why had she done this? 

She was one of their best friends. So not only had Chandler lost his love, his soul mate, his wife, they had also lost one of their best friends. 

The three of them were inseparable. They had other friends, of course, but the three of them were the closest. It had started when Chandler started dating her and she pulled Joey in and they became a close little group of three. 

Two now. He had to remember that. They weren't a three anymore. She had ruined that when she left. And Chandler, his buddy, his pal, the co-creator of fire darts, never wanted to do anything fun anymore. 

"She might call," he'd say. Or, "She might come back, Joe. She could come back. And if she comes back then I want to be here." 

"Dude, you're in a river in Egypt," Joey would tell him over and over again.

"What?" Chandler looked up at him with a confused expression on his face. 

"De Nile." Chandler would shake his head and go back to whatever was occupying his mind so that he wouldn't have to think about her. 

But he was. In denial. Everyone could see it but him. She wasn't coming back. She was gone. Forever. This was compounded when she had sent the divorce papers. She was out. Done with marriage. Done with him. Everyone had said what a perfect wife she had made, that it was as if she had been born to be a wife. Guess that left when the divorce papers arrived in the mail. But Chandler needed to snap out of this. Joey wanted to take him by the shoulders and shake him. 

"Stop thinking about her! Get out of your sweatpants, and come join the world of the living again," but no. He just smiled at Chandler sympathetically and cursed her in his head for doing this.

  
  
  


_Crazy skies are wild above me now_

_winter howling at my face_

_and everything I held so dear_

_disappeared without a trace_

  
  
  


Chandler finally got out of bed and went to the grocery store. All that he had left in his fridge was Diet Pepsi, Caprisuns, and milk, which he thought was old (AN: Ha ha! That's all my roommate and I have in our fridge...and water). So he had made the effort and went after work. This whole shopping thing was foreign to him. She had always been in charge of shopping, and the cooking and the cleaning. It wasn't that he hadn't offered, it was that she had wanted to do the housework. It made her feel like a real wife. 

"Spaghetti," he thought to himself. "Should be an easy enough thing to make. What do you need to make spaghetti?" He hadn't even realized that he was talking to himself out loud when someone answered him.

"You need noodles, and sauce and meat if you like meat in your sauce," the amused voice behind him said. He turned sheepishly and came face to face with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. 

"Noodles? But there are so many kinds!" 

"Here," she reached past him and her hand brushed his shoulder as she took the box in her hand and handed it to him. "These are the kind that you need to make spaghetti."

"Thanks," he said smiling at her. 

"No problem," she said shrugging as she left the aisle. "And sauce. Ragu is my favorite, but any kind will work. Good luck." Smiling, Chandler thanked her again and it was only after she had walked away that he realized that he hadn't gotten her name. 

  
  
  


~* So I know that this part was kind of short, but it was just setting the story up. Can you guess who is wife was? Was it Monica? But who is the woman in the store? Maybe the wife is Monica, and I'll make her come back and it'll be a triangle kind of thing....who knows? 


	2. Spinning around inside my head

_*_Thank you so much for reviewing, kindly do it again? Please???? Okay, here is the next part and don't worry everything, well maybe not everything, will be revealed._*_

  


Disclaimer: Yeah, so I don't own them, I hope that's not a problem

  
  


"I met a girl today," Chandler said as soon as he got up to his apartment where Joey was sitting waiting for him.

"You what?" Joey sat up in such surprise that he almost toppled off his chair. 

"I met a girl." This was astounding. Chandler met a girl? 

"What's her name?" Joey asked.

"Well, that's the thing. I don't know."

"You don't know?" How was that possible? Oh wait, Joey thought to himself. It was possible. He had slept with women that he hadn't learned their names. 

"Nope," Chandler grinned. That was a rarity too. Chandler was smiling. Over a girl. Over a girl who wasn't Kathy (AN: none of you guessed Kathy! I guess I pulled one over on all of you). Joey felt slightly guilty over the whole Kathy situation as he had actually been the one to introduce them. He had slept with her and brought her to meet Chandler. It turned out that he and Kathy were better as friends, but her and Chandler really hit it off. And then it was always the three of them. Inseparable. Well, at least they had been.

"Why didn't you get her name?" Joey asked. 

"It all happened so fast. She helped me pick out spaghetti sauce and then when I thanked her she just walked away."

"Why didn't you stop her?" Chandler shrugged still grinning. "Was she hot?" That was eventually where Joey's mind always went. 

"Extremely, Joe. Probably the most gorgeous woman I have ever met in my life." 

"Really?" Better than Kathy? Joey wanted to ask, but he kept the last part to himself. 

"Yes. More so than Kathy, I think." It was as if Chandler had read his mind. Joey grinned at his roommate.

"That's great man!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." It was a shame then that he hadn't learned her name. It really wasn't phasing Chandler. And the important part was that he was smiling. And this girl, whoever she was, had done that to him. __

  
  
  


_though all the times I tasted love_

_never knew quite what I had_

_little darling, if you hear me now_

_never needed you so bad_

_spinning around inside my head_

  
  
  


Joey smiled as he left the next morning. Chandler was happy. He was happy that Chandler was happy, and most importantly Kathy had not been mentioned at all that day. Chandler was even talking about going to a Knicks game. Something they hadn't done together in awhile. It was enough to put a spring in Joey's step. And on top of that, it was a gorgeous day and he had a call back. Life was good. Life was very good. And it was going to be a great day, he could tell.

And life was about to get even better, because one of the most beautiful women that Joey had ever seen, and he considered himself quite worldly when it came to women, was coming his way and was paying so little attention that she was about to walk right into him.

"Oh!" She looked up and her bright blue eyes met Joey's. "Sorry about that."

"No problem," he smiled at her. She smiled back. God, what a great smile, he thought to himself. 

"I should have been looking to where I was walking," she said apologetically. "I'm such an idiot. I was lost in my own little world." He wanted to be lost in that little world of hers as well. 

"Like I said, it's no big deal," Joey assured her. "I'm Joey by the way."

"Monica," she introduced herself. 

"Very nice to meet you Monica," he told her. 

"You too Joey."

"Hey, would you like to get some coffee sometime?" Joey nearly crossed his fingers that this girl said yes. He was used to getting women to fall all over him, but he had a feeling that this girl wasn't like the others that he usually dated. 

"Sure," she rummaged through her purse and came up with a piece of paper and a pen. She scribbled her number down for him and then handed it to him smiling. 

"I better go," she said as she started to walk past him. "Call me." 

"Sure will," Joey said waving the paper as she walked by. Grinning to himself, he unfolded the paper. 

"Monica," he read. "555-4736." Monica. He was absolutely right. 

This was going to be a great day. 

  
  
  


_sail away with me honey_

_put my heart in your hands_

_sail away with me honey_

_now, now, now_

  
  
  
  
  


"20," Joey read the paper again. "Apartment 20." He had called Monica and they had set up a date for that Friday night. And here he was in front of her door, he had found it. Apartment 20. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand and knocked. The door flung open and a woman, quite beautiful, stood before him. She had light brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail and she smiled at him.

"You must be Joey," she said. 

"Um....yeah. Is Monica home?"

"She's finishing getting ready," the woman explained. "Come on in. I'm her roommate, Rachel." She stuck out her hand which he took. Looking around the large apartment, Joey noticed another man sitting on the couch.

"This is my boyfriend, Ross. He's also Monica's brother," Rachel introduced. The man, Ross, stood up and walked over to where Joey and Rachel were standing. 

"Nice to meet you," Joey said shaking his hand. 

"You hurt her and I'll kill you," Ross responded smiling. 

"Ross!" Rachel said smacking him lightly in the shoulder. "Don't mind him. Ignore him. That's what we all do."

"I mean it," Ross repeated shaking a finger at Joey. "Limb from limb." Joey was fairly sure that he could take this guy, but he didn't want to mess with him. He just smiled and nodded his head. Most important was making a good impression on Monica and her friends. He liked this girl. Really liked her. 

Monica stepped out of her bedroom and Joey's mouth dropped open. She looked amazing. Black strapless dress, with her hair pulled up and piled on top of her head.

"Hi," she said smiling at him. "You met Rachel and Ross?"

"We met," Ross said nodding. "I think we've reached an understanding." Monica gave him a strange look, but simply chalked it up to her brother being odd and reached for her purse.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked Joey as she pulled on her jacket.

"Yes, it was very nice meeting both of you." Joey opened the door. 

"Rachel?" Monica whispered as she passed by to leave. "How do I look?"

"Stunning," Rachel whispered back. Monica smiled and walked out to meet Joey in the hall. 

"You do look amazing," Joey informed her as they descended the stairs. 

"Thank you, you don't look that bad yourself," Monica told him. He made her heart flutter, and her head spin when he looked at her. Joey had that talent of making the woman feel as if she was the only woman in the world when he looked at her. It was something he prided himself on. Something that had taken dedication to achieve. It was going to be a good night, both of them could see that right from the start. And, if everything went the way it should, it would be a long night as well.

A very, very long night.

  
  
  
  


_sail away with me_

_what will be will be_

_I want to hold you now_

  
  
  


One thing that Chandler had not done when Kathy had left him was to hit the bars. He preferred to be home and drunk. But that night he had gone out. Joey was on a date, nothing new there, and some of his friends from work asked if he wanted to go out to get a drink with them. In this new Chandler attitude, he had said yes and that explained why he was sitting at a bar with his friends from work John and Mike sharing a few beers and laughs. 

"So Chandler, any new women we should know about?" Mike said approaching the subject as gingerly as he could. Even his work buddies had been worried about him. It had taken quite some time to finally get over his wife, ex-wife now, and they were happy to see that he was coming out and going back to being the Chandler that they all knew. 

"I met this girl the other day," Chandler started. That girl. He couldn't stop thinking about that girl. She was gorgeous, but that wasn't the thing that stuck with him. There was something in her eyes. There was something about her. He didn't even know her name, and yet.....there was just something about her. 

"Pretty?"

"Way out of my league," Chandler told him nodding. "Dark hair, blue eyes...."

"What's her name?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" John asked raising one eyebrow at Chandler. That had been Joey's reaction too, Chandler laughed to himself.

"No. I never found out her name. But I....I can't stop thinking about her."

"That hot huh?" Mike asked teasing. 

"Yes, she was....but...." He kept coming back to the same thought. There was something about her. But it was ridiculous. He had no idea who this woman was. He had talked to her all of five minutes. She could be anyone. It was New York City, for God's sake. There were millions of people in this city what were the odds of running into her again? 

Seriously, what were the odds? 

  
  
  


_I've been talking drunken gibberish_

_falling in and out of bars_

_trying to get some explanation here_

_for the way some people are_

_how did it ever come so far?_

  
  
  
  


Monica was amazing. Joey was falling for her. And he never fell for girls. Sleep with them, yes this he did. 

Stick around after? No. That wasn't Joey's style. But this girl. There was just something about her.

"I want you to meet my best friend," Joey said to her one night about a week after their second date. They had been on four dates all together, and every one had been fantastic. Now Joey wanted her to meet Chandler. He had met her brother and her roommate, it was her turn.

"Okay. Chandler, was it?" She scrunched her face trying to remember the name that Joey had told her.

"Yes, Chandler. How about tomorrow?" She smiled at him.

"I would love to meet him," she assured him. "Tomorrow is great."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Positive. Tomorrow will be fine."

"Okay," Joey grinned at her. "Then we'll all have dinner tomorrow." 

  
  


_Sail away with me honey_

_put your heart in my hands_

_sail away with me honey_

_now, now, now_

_sail away with me_

_what will be will be_

_I want to hold you now_

  
  
  


Monica was nervous. She wanted to make a good impression on Joey's roommate. He talked about him all the time. 

"He's like a brother to me," Joey had explained. And more than anything Monica wanted him to like her. To accept her. 

She smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress with her hand one more time before taking a deep breath and reaching up to knock on the door. 

Inside, Joey heard and called to Chandler, who was still in the process of getting ready in his bedroom.

"She's here."

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute," Chandler called back. Joey smiled and opened the door.

"Hey you," he said to Monica pulling her into his arms. 

"Hey yourself," she said kissing him. 

"Chandler's almost ready," Joey told her as they broke apart and he slipped his arm around her waist. "Chandler," he called in a whining voice. "Are you ready yet?" 

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Chandler said walking out into the living room buttoning his sleeves. When he looked up, he stopped dead in his tracks and his heart stopped. 

"It's you," he whispered. 

  
  
  


_sail away with me_

_put my heart in your hands_

_sail away with me_

_now, now, now_

_sail with me_

_what will be will be_

_I want to hold you now_

  
  
  


~* I am trying to get these up as fast as I can. But if you review, maybe I'll skip my psych homework and write the third chapter instead? Okay, please review again and tell me what you think so far. Thanks!~*


	3. Wheel

*I should be reading, but....oh well. Here is the next part and I hope that you enjoy it and leave me a nice review.....oh please? The song is by the incredible, one and only John Mayer ,and it's called Wheel. And half is in this chapter and half will be in the next. Review? Please? Okay, thanks!*

  


Disclaimer: As great as that would be....they're not mine. 

  
  


Monica stared at him open-mouthed and Joey turned his attention between the two back and forth, completely confused. 

"Do you know her?" He asked. Monica began laughing. 

"I helped him pick out spaghetti sauce," she explained. "What a small world!" Funny, Chandler had been thinking the same thing, only in a much more sarcastic tone. The one girl that he meets and can't stop thinking about is being bedded by his best friend? The one girl since his wife left him that he found himself dreaming about is dating Joey? 

God, life wasn't fair. Not fair at all. 

And Joey, despite being a tad bit slow, caught on to what was going on. This was the girl that Chandler had met at the grocery store. The one that had broken him out of his misery. Monica was that girl. And he was dating her. And normally this wouldn't be a problem, he would just move on to the next girl and his latest conquest and let Chandler have her, but she was important to him. She was good for him. He wasn't ready to give her up yet. Even if it was to Chandler. 

"Funny," Joey managed to find his voice finally. 

"How did that spaghetti work out for you?" Monica asked. Chandler weakly nodded his head.

"It was good." 

"Monica's a chef," Joey added into the conversation.

"So I suppose that I found the right person to help me pick out sauce," he said to her. 

"I suppose you did." She nodded and smiled at him. "Were we eating here or out?"

"I was thinking that we'd go out," Joey said, but he didn't direct this to Monica, he directed this to Chandler looking for some sign that either told him that Chandler was going to be okay with this, or that Chandler wanted to stay home that night and wallow in the fact that, despite the fact that he got to her first, it was ultimately Joey who won. Joey always was the one who won. 

"Let me grab my jacket," Chandler said turning around and practically running into his bedroom. Once inside, he took a deep breath. How was he supposed to go out to dinner with them? 

Monica. Her name was Monica. Now he knew her name. A whole lot of good it did him now. She was with Joey. She was Joey's. He took one more deep breath and joined them in the living room. Maybe she was horrible. Maybe she had this terrible personality that completely clashed with Chandler's. 

Yeah, who was he kidding? 

  
  
  


_People, have the right to fly_

_and when it gets compromised_

_Their hearts say, "Move along"_

_Their minds say, "Gotcha heart." _

_Let's move it along_

_Let's move it along_

  
  


She was incredible. He had been right. She made him smile, and she laughed at all his corny jokes. And who did that? Not even Joey, who was his best friend and who loved him like a brother would laugh at his corny jokes. But Monica did. 

"Then what did you say?" She asked Chandler as he finished a story from work that day. 

"I said, 'hey! This isn't a brothel!'" She burst out in laughter. Joey managed a small smile as he watched the girl that he was possibly be in love with hit it off with his best friend, who was definitely in love with her. 

Monica had a fantastic laugh, Chandler decided. Her hair would fall over her face as her head fell forward when she laughed. 

"I can't believe you said that!" She told him laughing. 

"Hey, do you want something to drink?" Joey asked. "I'm going to go up to the bar."

"Sure," she smiled up Joey and Chandler realized that while she laughed at his jokes, that smile was reserved for someone other than him. That was Joey's smile. Because she was Joey's. And that sucked. That sucked big time. 

"What would you like?"

"Mud slide?"

"Sure thing," Joey winked at her and left the table. "Chandler? Would you like to come?"

"Someone should stay here and sit with Monica," he pointed out to Joey smiling at him.

"No, it's fine," she assured him. "Go ahead." 

"Are you sure?" Chandler asked. He just wanted to sit there with her. He just wanted to sit there and forget that she had a boyfriend. No, not just that she had a boyfriend, but that she was dating his best friend. And no matter how great this girl was, she wasn't worth ruining his friendship with Joey. But that still didn't stop him from not wanting to move. 

"I'm sure," she told him again. "Go right ahead." Reluctantly, Chandler got up from his chair and followed Joey to the bar.

"That's her?" They both said at the same time. 

"I can't believe this," Joey said ordering the drinks. 

"Tell me about it." Chandler paused. "She's incredible."

"Tell me about it," Joey answered. "I think I love her Chandler." Well, that was just great. If Joey was just messing around, then Chandler could try to make a move on her and no one would be seriously upset about the whole situation, but if Joey, who never fell in love, fell in love with this girl? That would upset the whole balance of the situation. 

This was all his fault. That's all that Chandler could think. Why hadn't he asked her what her name was in the grocery store? Why hadn't he said, "Gee, you're really gorgeous and the first girl that I've looked at since my wife up and left my sorry ass? What's your name? And would you like to marry me?" Yeah right. 

It wasn't his style. 

And now his friend had gotten to her first, and he would just have to sigh and kiss the idea of him and her goodbye. Step to the side and let Joey have her.

That's just what he would have to do. 

  
  
  


_And airports_

_see it all the time_

_with someone's last goodbye_

_blends in with someone's sigh_

_cause someone's coming home_

_in hand single rose_

  
  
  


Monica had a great time with Joey and his best friend. Actually, she had a great time with his best friend. This was something that she worried about. She was with Joey. She liked him. She liked him a lot. So why did she keep thinking about Chandler? 

"Hello?" The front door opened and Rachel came in with a shopping bag that she tossed onto the couch.

"I'm here," Monica stepped back from where she had been standing at the stove to face her best friend.

"Hey, you okay? You look...."

"What?"

"Deep in thought." Rachel grinned at Monica. "You thinking about Joey?" Sure, she thought. I was thinking about Joey. I was also thinking about his roommate, but we'll just skip right over that part. 

"Yes," Monica gave her a small smile. "I was thinking about Joey."

"I knew it!" Rachel exclaimed. "He's cute Mon. And he really seems to like you." 

"You think?" God that would make things so much more complicated. If Joey was just infatuated and nothing more, then maybe they would break up and she could see where things would lead.....

No. She would not think like that. She was with Joey. She kept repeating it to herself like a mantra. You're with Joey. You like Joey. Joey likes you. Forget about Chandler. Forget that he even exists. Forget that he makes you laugh and makes you feel like you've never felt before.....oh, this is the kind of thinking that got her into this mess in the first place.

"Are you seeing him tonight?" Who? Chandler?

"Joey?"

"Of course, Joey, who else would I be talking about?" Rachel asked laughing a little at the confused look on her best friend's face. Who else would she be talking about? That was an excellent question. "You okay, Mon? You look out of it a little." She would be fine. She would stay with Joey and everything would be fine. 

Everything would be fine. __

  
  
  


_and that's the way this wheel keeps working now_

_That's the way this wheel keeps working now_

_I won't be the last,_

_no I won't be the last,_

_to love her_

  
  
  


Joey knocked on Monica's door and she pulled it open. 

"Hey!" She smiled at him and all his nervousness and worrying that she reciprocated the feelings that Chandler had for her melted away. It was too bad that they were both in love with the same girl, but he had gotten there first. Right? Those were the rules. 

"You ready?" He had gotten them tickets to the Knicks game. She grabbed a jacket and pulled it overtop her sweater and nodded. 

"Let's go," she said as he reached to take her hand. Joey had plenty of women in which men turned their heads to take another look and Monica was no exception. Men watched her walk past, but it was more with her. She had the personality to match too. 

"You a Knicks fan?" He asked. 

"Sure," she shrugged. "I guess."

"You guess? Either you are or you aren't, and if you aren't I don't know if we can still date," he told her. She giggled. 

"I am," she reassured him leaning into his side. I'm happy, she repeated to herself. I'm happy. Why didn't she believe that? 

  
  
  
  


_And you can't build a house of leaves_

_and live like it's an evergreen_

_It's just a season thing_

_It's just this thing that seasons do_

  
  


*~Okay that's part three, but please leave me a review cause that would be....that would be great.....okay! Please write a little (nice?) review.~*


	4. Wave goodbye

~* Hey kids, thanks for reviewing....do you think...possibly that you could maybe do it again? Cause that would be awesome. Thanks! I'm so happy because my first class today was cancelled. Yay! Okay, so make me even happier and leave me a nice review.*~

  


Disclaimer: Sadly, no, I don't own the characters on the amazing television show Friends. 

  
  


It was odd. In fact it was extremely strange that all she wanted to do was not spend time with her boyfriend, but his best friend. His roommate. That was extremely strange. And not good. Not good at all. She needed to stop thinking about Chandler. 

But that was certainly harder than she thought it would be. He filled her thoughts and senses. There was something seriously wrong when she was with Joey and she kept thinking about Chandler. She thought about how it would be to lie in his arms at night, and what it would be like to kiss him....

No. She had to stop this. 

"Coming?" Joey asked reaching out his hand for her to take. They were at the park having a picnic, and it was lovely. Perfectly lovely. Except she couldn't think about anything but Chandler. 

Taking Joey's hand she took a deep breath and smiled at him. He was cute, yes, he was sweet, yes, but she didn't feel the same things that he was feeling. 

Well, that wasn't entirely true. She was feeling them, just not for Joey. Oh, this was so very bad. She was in love with his best friend. And there was the other problem: what did Chandler feel about her? Because it would all be a moot point if he didn't think of her in that way.

Something told her that he did feel the same way. God, she didn't know if that made things better or worse. 

"Are you having a nice time?" Joey asked gently as they made their way along the lake. 

"I am," she assured him. 

"Good," he grinned at her. "Hey, dinner tonight? Chandler's going to be there, so bring that friend of yours, Phoebe?" Joey was on a mission to get Chandler coupled off with someone so that he became less of a threat with his relationship with Monica.

"Chandler's coming?" She didn't mean to have that come out with her sounding so enthusiastic. Of course, she was, but she didn't want Joey to know. 

"Yeah." Joey didn't sound too happy about her tone of voice. Was she tipping him off too much? 

"Oh, okay. I'll ask Phoebe if she wants to come," Monica told him.

"Okay, good." Joey resumed his happy state and squeezing her hand pulled her forward. 

  
  
  


_And that's the way this wheel keeps working now_

_That's the way this wheel keeps working now_

_And you won't be the last,_

_no you won't be the last _

_to love me_

  
  
  


Monica was laughing at one of his jokes. He always loved to make her laugh. He loved the way that she laughed. What he didn't like, however, were the dirty looks that Joey kept shooting his way. And though Monica's friend was certainly nice and pretty, he only had one girl on his mind. 

And she wasn't available. Joey shot him dirty looks the entire dinner as he and Monica talked and laughed. Phoebe played with her food and tried to break into the conversation every once in awhile. Towards the end of the meal, Joey's phone began to ring. 

"Hello?" He listened for a minute and then turned to the expectant faces staring back at him. "My sister," he mouthed. "What? No, I'll be right there."

"What's the matter?" Monica asked running her hand up and down his arm. 

"My mom's sick."

"Oh, honey," Monica said pulling him in for a hug. 

"I'm sorry man," Chandler said sympathetically.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Monica asked. 

"No, but thanks," Joey smiled at her and leaned in to give her a kiss. "I'll call you later."

"Okay," she told him.

"Chandler, will you make sure that her and Phoebe get home okay?" He asked gathering his coat and things.

"Of course, don't worry about it. I'm sure she's okay," he assured Joey.

"Okay." Joey took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Monica. Chandler watched as they kissed once more before breaking apart and Joey dashing out of the apartment. 

"I'll get you a cab," Chandler said as the three remaining gathered their things and headed down the stairs.

"I'll just walk," Phoebe said. "I'm just down there a bit." She pointed. 

"Then we'll walk you," Monica said. "Won't we Chandler?" As selfish as it was when his friend was in such a crisis, he wanted the time with Monica. He would have agreed to anything he thought. 

"Sure." They walked in silence until Phoebe's building. Monica gave her friend a hug and they watched until Phoebe got inside. 

"Do you want to get a cab?" Chandler asked. Please say no, he begged silently. Please say no. 

"No," she shook her head. "If it's okay, I'd like to walk. It's a gorgeous night." Great, he thought. 

"Great." They walked and talked the entire way back to her apartment. When they arrived at her door she thanked him sweetly and turned to go in.

She stopped halfway up and turned back around. 

"Chandler?"

"Yeah?"

"I....I....just....it's...." She mumbled. Before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him and kissed her. 

__

  
  
__

You can find me

_if you ever want again_

_I'll be around the bend_

_I'll be around the bend_

_I'll be around_

  
  
  


Chandler's mind was reeling. He was kissing Monica. Monica. Who he had been secretly (or not so secretly) in love with for the past few weeks. Monica. Who was dating Joey. This needed to stop. However, neither made a move to stop the kiss, in fact, Chandler deepened it. It was Monica eventually who broke away.

"I can't. Joey....and his mother....and it's not....I can't." She stumbled backwards towards her building. 

"Are you telling me that you are in love with Joey?" Chandler asked half afraid of the answer. 

"No....I guess....not." He took a deep breath and asked the question that he had been wanting to ask since their second meeting.

"And me? What about me?"

"What about you?" So she wasn't going to make this easy on him. 

"Are you in love with me?"

"I don't.....yes, I think I might be....." Suddenly she burst into tears. His heart was racing and his hands were sweating_. _She loved him? No way. She really loved him?

"Monica?" She didn't answer, just continued to cry into her open hands. "Mon? It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt Joey. He's such a sweet guy and he doesn't deserve this....he doesn't....I can't....I can't see you anymore Chandler. I can't ever see you."

"Are you going to stay with him?" No answer. "Monica? Are you going to stay with him?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything. I have to...I have to...." She turned quick on her heels and ran inside her apartment building leaving Chandler alone and confused on the street. 

  
  
  


_And if you never stop when you wave goodbye_

_You just might find if you give it time you will wave hello again_

_you just might wave hello again_

  
  
  


Joey's mother was okay. And a few weeks after the whole incident, Monica broke it off with him. 

"It's not you," she assured him using the old cliche. "I just don't feel what you feel." It had been utterly heartbreaking to him, as she was the first girl that he had actually considered making a commitment to. But she didn't feel what he felt. 

"I'm sorry," she had said not looking at him in the eye.

"Me too," he agreed and he took her hand in his. "Hey, don't worry about it, if it's not there, it's not there." She looked up at him teary-eyed. 

"You are going to make some woman extremely happy one day," she told him leaning in to give him a soft kiss.

"But not you?" Sadly, she shook her head. 

"Not me." 

"So this is it?"

"This is it." Joey took her in his arms one last time and hugged her close to him. Somehow he had known. He had known that they wouldn't work.

Her heart belonged to someone else. 

  
  
  


_And that's the way this wheel keeps working now_

_That's the way this wheel keeps working now_

  
  
  
  


Chandler hadn't forgotten about her. Of course, he hadn't. He thought about her all the time. She had broken up with Joey and had stopped coming around. She had been telling the truth when she had said that she couldn't see him. She couldn't be near him. 

It broke his heart. So they were quite the pair, him and Joey. They both moped around the apartment in their sweatpants trying to get over the same girl who had broken both their hearts. 

"Call her," Joey said finally as they sat in their chairs two months later. 

"What? Who?"

"Monica."

"What?"

"I know that you still love her."

"So do you."

"But she doesn't love me."

"She doesn't love me either," Chandler lied. He had never told Joey about that night in front of her building. Some things were better left untold. 

"She might."

"She doesn't."

"How do you know?"

"Joey, listen, you were her boyfriend. She wanted nothing to do with me."

"I saw it." What did he see? The kiss? Had he been at Monica's that night? 

"What?"

"I saw the way she looked at you. I saw the way that you looked at her." Joey leaned over and picked up the phone. "Call her." Chandler looked at his best friend with an incredulous look. He was willing to give up Monica for Chandler? He was willing to sit by while his best friend got the girl that he had fallen in love with first? 

Chandler took the phone. 

  
  
  


_You can't love too much one part of it_

_You can't love too much one part of it_

  
  
  


"Hello?" His heart raced. It wasn't her. It wasn't Monica who answered the phone. 

"Hello? Is Monica there?" Joey had gotten up and left the living room leaving Chandler alone. 

"No, I'm sorry, she's not."

"Do you know when she'll be back?"

"Well, she's moved."

"Moved? To where?" 

"Boston."

"She moved to Boston?" He practically dropped the phone. She moved? She moved? When?

"Yes, she got a better job offer," her roommate explained.

"When? When did this happen?"

"She left two weeks ago." Two weeks ago. She was gone. "Can I take a message? I call her all the time."

"Um, Chandler...Chandler called."

"I'll tell her," Rachel hung up the phone and Chandler hung up and then just sat and stared at the phone. She was gone? 

She was gone. 

  
  
  


_I believe that my life's gonna see_

_the love I give returned to me_

  
  


~*I'm so happy that I got this chapter done because I'm going home for the weekend and won't be anywhere near my computer. But please review and I'll write the next chapter really fast when I get back....so please review. Thanks!~*


	5. My life's gonna see, the love I give ret...

~Hey guys! Thanks for reviewing, that was great! Please, could you do it again? I have a cold and feel like crap and that would really make me feel just a little bit better. Thanks!~

  


Disclaimer: While I would love to own the characters and be the genius who came up with the idea in the first place, well....I didn't....so they're not mine, I can only dream. Please don't sue me. Please.

  


Boston. That was....well, it wasn't New York. She moved to Boston? Chandler couldn't quite wrap his mind around this statement. 

"How did it go?" Joey asked walking back into the living room. As much as it killed him to lose the only girl he had ever felt strongly about, he knew that Chandler felt just as strong if not more so for her. 

"She's gone."

"What?"

"She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone? Where did she go?"

"Boston."

"For the weekend?"

"For good."

"She went to Boston? Isn't that like in California?" Trust Joey to make him smile even a little.

"No, Joe. It's in Massachusetts." 

"Why did she go there?"

"Search me," Chandler replied. "All I know is that she's gone." She was gone. Everything that he had ever wanted in a girl had been right there, but now she was gone. 

"Well, go after her," Joey told him. He was amazed that Chandler was just sitting there while Monica was sitting in Boston. 

"Boston is a big city Joey," Chandler told him. 

"So?"

"So, how would I find her?" For being the one considered the less bright one, Joey came up with the brilliant plan between the two.

"Call her roommate and ask." Call Rachel and just ask? Just ask? He could do that. He could most certainly do that.

"Right. Call Rachel and ask.....just call Rachel....." Nervously, Chandler redialed Monica's number. Rachel picked up one more time. 

"Hello?"

"Rachel?"

"Yes?

"This is Chandler, do you remember me? Where is Monica?" This all came out in one long, very fast statement. He waited in anticipation for her reply. 

"Boston?"

"Where in Boston?" Chandler asked boldly.

"Why?" Rachel asked. 

"Because I need to see her, I need to talk to her."

"Aren't you Joey's roommate?" Rachel finally placed where she knew him from. He was Monica's ex-boyfriend's roommate. 

"Yes," Chandler was becoming impatient now. "Where is Monica?" 

"Hold on, let me grab her address. Why do you need to see her?"

"Because."

"Because why?" Rachel wasn't going to make this easy on him. This was her best friend, her brokenhearted best friend (although Rachel wasn't so sure why she had been brokenhearted, because she had done the breaking up, so in reality, Joey would be the one to be depressed). Rachel didn't want this guy running up there and hurting her any more than she was already hurting. 

"I'm in love with her!" Chandler admitted finally. Rachel's mouth dropped open.

"You're the reason that she moved. I knew it wasn't Joey. I just knew it. Which means that it had to be you." 

"Can I please have her address?"

"I don't know," Rachel bit her nail. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go there, and try to get her back," he announced. After convincing Rachel that he wasn't going to hurt Monica, that was the farthest thing from his mind, she finally gave in and read the address over to him. 

"Thanks Rachel."

"Don't hurt her."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He hung up and grinned at Joey. 

"Got it?" Joey asked. Chandler nodded.

"Got it." He would go to Boston, and he would talk to her and he would make her see that they were meant to be together. 

She would see.

She would have to. 

  
  
  


With a sigh, Monica tossed her bag onto the chair in her living room and dropped herself onto the couch. Lying there, she shut her eyes. It had been a long, long day. Drifting off into a nice, well-deserved nap, her buzzer rang loudly throughout the empty apartment. Opening back up her eyes with a sigh, she heaved herself up and went to the intercom. 

"Who is it?" She asked.

"Chandler." Chandler? Chandler? No. No, couldn't be. Who would have told him where she was?

Rachel. She'd kill her.

But why was he here? Why did he hunt her down? Her mind and heart raced.

"What are you doing here?" She asked softly.

"I came to see you. I need to talk to you." No. She couldn't do this. She couldn't handle this. She wasn't strong enough to handle this. 

"Go away."

"Monica," Chandler tried again. He had caught the very first plane out of New York city going to Boston. He had been seated next to a man who smelled like rotten cheese and stole his arm rest. All for her. And he couldn't go back, no he wouldn't go back without her. He would stay there all night and all day if he had to.

"It's not right," she told him.

"But it is."

"But Joey...."

"Is fine." Joey was fine? Joey wasn't going to be hurt if they dated? She found that hard to believe, but if Chandler told her otherwise, than her whole defense would crumble.

"But....."

"No buts, Monica. Can I come up to talk at least?" Sighing she took her finger off the intercom button and buzzed him in. To Chandler that was the greatest sound in the world. He silently cheered to himself as he practically ran up the stairs in her building. He knocked on her door and she opened it.

God, she was beautiful. Her face was flushed and her eyes were filled with confusion.

"Monica," Chandler breathed.

"Chandler," she said. Oh man, she couldn't do this. None of her reasons seemed viable anymore. Nothing seemed like a good enough reason to stop her from throwing herself into his arms and let him rock her back and forth. Let him kiss her and hold her.

"Joey is okay." 

"Are you sure?"

"He sent me here. He told me to call you. He told me to come here." For the first time, she let herself break into a smile.

"He did?"

"He did." She was cracking, he could see it. Her guard was coming down. She was giving in. 

"Then we should thank him, shouldn't we?" Chandler grinned and grabbed her face and pulled it close to his and kissed her fiercely.

"Monica?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you." It was the first time he had said it to someone other than Kathy. But Kathy, Kathy was nothing compared to Monica. Monica was everything. 

"I love you too," she whispered pulling him into her apartment and slamming the door behind him.

  
  
  


~Well, here is your job: you can either have it end there, or you can request one more chapter (perhaps an epilogue?) So if enough of you review and want another chapter, I will be more than happy to oblige, but if you don't, then review anyway and tell me that no, you want it to end here. Thanks!~


	6. The very best kind of crazy

~You asked for it, and here it is: an epilogue yea! Please review one last time, it would be so great. Thanks!~

  


Disclaimer: Mine, not so much.

  
  


Chandler whistled as he stepped out of the cab. He had just come back from the airport. He had to decide now what to do. 

Quit his job and move to Boston?

Or try to maintain a long distance relationship?

Either way, he wasn't letting her go. He had worked far too long and hard for her to let a little thing like her living in another state get in the way. He waved down a cab and stepped inside and made his way through the silent streets of New York. It was late and he was exhausted. They had laid in bed with his arms wrapped around her and had just talked all night about everything. About what they wanted. About what had happened, and about the future.

Chandler Bing had talked about the future, and wasn't even scared. It was certainly a day to be written down in history. 

Well, okay, he was a little scared. But this was Monica. This was the girl that had filled his thoughts for months. It was a good kind of scared with her. He loved her. He loved her after only being with her a few times. But he did. He loved her completely.

"I'm crazy," she had warned him. "I mean I'm nuts. I just thought that you should be pre-warned." He had laughed at this.

"I'm serious," she had argued. "I'm completely off my rocker. Ask Rachel."

"Okay, you're nuts. But the very best kind of crazy."

"There is no good crazy."

"That's where you're wrong. You are good crazy." This had made her melt and had started yet another round in the bed. It had been a great night. The very best. 

When he put his key into his door and stepped inside, he expected the lights to be off. But Joey, Rachel, and Ross all sat in his apartment drinking coffees and eating pizzas.

"Chandler's home!" Joey exclaimed. 

"What happened?" Rachel asked right away.

"How is she?" Ross asked.

"Did you sleep with her?" Joey added. Chandler had to laugh. 

"The answers are I'm in love with her, she's good, and oh yeah....several times." Chandler also laughed at the disgusted look that overcame Ross's face. 

"She's good huh?" Joey winked at Chandler. To which both Chandler and Ross cringed at.

"Ew....that's my sister."

"Joe!" Chandler exclaimed. 

"What?" Rachel ignored this and went straight to the stuff that she wanted to know.

"Are you guys together?"

""Yes."

"Is she moving back here?" 

"I don't think so." Rachel and Ross both looked a little disappointed and then moved on.

"Are you moving there?" Ross asked.

"I don't know." Chandler felt his exhaustion creep back over him. "Can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm tired."

"I'm sure you are," Joey said smiling and nodding. Ignoring this, Chandler moved to his bedroom.

"Wait! That's it? That's all you're going to tell us?" Rachel asked placing her hands on her hips. 

"Yes."

"That's not fair," Rachel said borderline whining. Chandler shrugged. Nothing could bother him now. Everything was good. No, it was more than good. Everything was great. He waved to his friends, new and old, and collapsed into his bed. 

  
  


"Hello?" He loved hearing her voice. 

"Hey," he said softly. 

"Chandler!" God, he missed her already and it had only been a few weeks. They had talked every night, but he had yet to make it back up to see her. Both of them had gotten busy at work. "When are you coming back?" She wanted him to move there, and he had already talked to his boss about possibly transferring to Boston. It looked like it was going to happen, but he didn't want to get her hopes up if it wasn't.

"Soon." 

"I miss you."

"You too." Oh did he miss her. "Are you okay? How are you doing?"

"Okay." She shrugged, but he couldn't see it. "Same old." There was something in her voice. Something that told him that she wasn't quite telling the truth. On her end of the phone, she was holding her breath that he didn't figure out that she was lying. Boy was she lying. He decided to let it pass this time. 

"That's good." They talked a little while longer before saying goodbye. Monica immediately picked up the phone and dialed Rachel as soon as she hung up with Chandler.

"Hello?"

"Rachel?

"Monica! How are you?"

"I think I'm pregnant." Rachel practically dropped the phone. "What?"

"I think that I might be pregnant."

"Chandler's?"

"Yes, of course it's Chandler's."

"How sure are you?"

"Pretty sure."

"Did you go to the doctor's yet?"

"No."

"Does he know?"

"No." She paused. "Rachel, I'm scared." Rachel had been called spoiled in her day, but her best friend was upset and so she dropped everything that she was doing.

"Monica, I'll be there as soon as I can." 

  
  
  


Monica bit her nails as she waited for the timer to ding. There was a knock on the door and she pulled it open to reveal Rachel on the other side. Rachel pulled her in for a fierce hug. 

"Did you take the test yet?"

"Doing it right now."

"What do you want? Do you want it to be positive or negative?"

"I don't know." Monica bit her lip and frowned. "I can't decide."

"Mon! This isn't like choosing what color to paint the dining room. This is serious! Should we be happy or sad if comes out positive?" Monica sighed and sat down on the couch.

"I...." 

"Well?"

"I guess we should be happy?"

"Is that a question?"

"Yes! Okay, yes! Because I need to talk to Chandler. I have no idea how he's going to react. We slept together once. Only once. Okay, well, more than once, but only in that one night. Is he really going to want to have a baby with me? That's a big commitment." 

"He loves you though." That was the only thing that Rachel could get out before the timer in the kitchen went off. Monica looked horror stricken. 

"I'm not ready for this. I...I...."

"I'll check it," Rachel announced standing up and walking into the bathroom. She picked up the stick and then the box and read it over. She got really quiet. 

"Well?" Rachel came into the living room.

"Where are you going to put the nursery?"

"So it's positive?" Monica's insides twisted a bit. It was positive. She was going to have a baby. With Chandler. Her and Chandler were going to have a baby. Oh God. 

  
  


Rachel stayed a few days with Monica as she went to the doctor and confirmed it and then helped her think of what she would say to Chandler who was coming up to see her the next day. 

Monica paced back and forth waiting for Chandler to get there. He arrived and came in with the key that she had given him and then flew into his arms when he walked in.

"I've missed you," he said as he breathed in the smell of her hair. She nodded, too afraid to speak lest she begin to cry.

"We need to talk," both said at the same time. They both laughed nervously.

"You go first," he offered. 

"No, you," she gave him a nervous smile. 

"Okay, well. I talked to my boss and he agreed that I can transfer here." Monica's face broke into a grin and threw herself back into his arms, forgetting her news for a moment. 

"That's great!" She exclaimed.

"What's your news?" That's when her smile fell. 

"Um....I'm....maybe you should sit." Her nervousness was spreading as he took a seat on the couch. 

"What's the matter?" Okay, here went nothing. Maybe it was like a bandaid, maybe it was better just to get it out. 

"I'm pregnant." There. Oh God. His mouth dropped open and he was having trouble breathing. 

"You're...you're pregnant?"

"Yes." She was wringing her hands together. He noticed for the first time the upset, terrified look on her face. Okay, he wasn't ready to be a father. Okay, this came as a complete and total surprise. Okay. But he loved her. And he wanted to be with her forever. He could do this. Well, he could do this with her. As long as she was there, he could do this.

"God, Chandler. Please say something," she begged. 

"I'm happy?" 

"No you're not," she wailed. Tears began pouring down her cheeks. 

"Okay, so I'm not exactly happy," he told her truthfully. "But it's okay. Because I love you and we'll get married and we'll be happy."

"Are you sure?"

"I am positive." Finally, she allowed herself to smile and fell into his arms. It would be okay, he repeated to himself. It would be okay. He loved her, she loved him and they would be okay. 

  


_A year later:_

Monica sighed as she rolled over to face her husband. A baby's scream interrupted her early morning thoughts. 

"I'll get her," Chandler mumbled.

"Don't," Monica placed a hand on his arm. "I'm awake. I'll get her." She pulled on her robe and walked down the hall of their Boston home. Walking into her daughter's bedroom, she smiled at the five-month old. 

"Hey you," she whispered reaching into the crib and gently picking up her daughter. Her daughter. She couldn't get over that she was a mother. This was her child. She had given birth to this perfect little person. Abigail Grace Bing. Abby. She didn't hear Chandler come into the room until his arms wrapped around her. 

"She's perfect," Monica whispered. Abby was perfect. Abby was everything that Monica wanted. Well, Abby and Chandler were everything that she wanted. Ever. 

"Much like her mother," Chandler whispered back into her ear taking Abby into his own arms and wrapping the other free arm around his wife, pulling her close to him. Amazing that he was able to find the love of his life. He had thought it was Kathy and that he had lost it when she left. No. She didn't even come close to Monica. She was no where near Monica. Not anywhere near her league. 

"I love you," Monica whispered. 

"I love you too." Funny how life worked out. It was like a wheel. Joey met her first, fell in love, she fell in love with Chandler, and Joey ended up with Monica's friend Phoebe. Crazy. 

But the very best kind of crazy. 

  
  


~That's it folks. I hope that you liked it. Please review one more time. I found the best song in the world to use in a fic, but it's sooooo sad. So I don't know if I should use it to write a fic or not. I mean, it's really sad.....but hey, tell me if you're in the mood for a sad fic. Make it a double review. Thanks! ~


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